Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
