i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
