I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
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