I think I just saw someone hide a body.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
