I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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