a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize