I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize