It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
True strength comes from lack of pants
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize