Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He shit in the fireplace
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
