I'm eating all of the evidence.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
