Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
