I have demons in me.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
