I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
