True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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