eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
