He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
