mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
