Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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