I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
