I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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