So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
