sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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