Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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