you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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