its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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