gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
