Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
