took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
