They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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