So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
