she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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