Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
