You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
