I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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