I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
