so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
