Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
