These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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