I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
