oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I have aggressive nipples.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
