I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
