Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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