I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
