it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
