hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
