Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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