Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
