come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We need to get me chipped asap
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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