how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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