Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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