We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
