would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Randomize
