I love black thongs
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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