Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
