My brain says no but my pants say off.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
