she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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