you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
