bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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