Operation Purity has been aborted
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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